First Timers Guide
Getting to know each other beforehand
So you've received your first email to your brand new swingers website account. You're both excited. What should you think about?
- Are they genuine? - It is the sad truth that there are many people out there posing as couples or girls who aren't. Check whether the account is "validated" by other couples. Do those couples themselves look dodgy? Accounts with multiple validations are generally more trustworthy. Do the photos look like they are of the same people? If in doubt ask politely for a little more info or give it a miss.
- Do you all fancy each other? - It is worth making sure that at least from photos and profiles that everybody fancies each other. For example, it may be that you fancy your opposite in the other couple more than your partner does. Exchanging face and full body pictures is recommended to check the attraction. It is worth avoiding situations where there is an imbalance in attraction as it can end up in a wasted trip or possibly an argument.
- Speak before meeting - It is often worth exchanging mobile phone details or webcamming with each other in advance of meeting. This helps you to be sure you fancy people and allows you to discuss things like safety, preferences and degrees of comfort in advance.
- Arrange to meet in a neutral location - Pick a bar with a sexy atmosphere local to either of your places or hotel. This means if all works out, you can pop back and have fun. If for some reason, the attraction isn't there for everyone, you can walk away having had a great evening out.
- Prep your bodies - Generally people prefer trimmed or shaven pubic hair (and sometimes other hair), clean and fragrant bodies. If you've not shaved before (guys especially), you can buy trimming kits on ebay. We recommend the Seiko Cleancut for a smoooth finish that is guaranteed to please.
- Agree your boundaries - Be sure to discuss in advance with your partner exactly what you are both comfortable with and stick to it. Make sure a few glasses of wine don't make you forget what you agreed. Failing to do this can often cause arguments and it is never good to do this in front of others.
On The Night
- Pack condoms - And don't forget to use them!
- Dress to impress - There's nothing more erotic than a lady in a revealing dress or a guy in his sexiest suit and nothing less erotic than dirty old jeans and t-shirt.
- Be chilled out - Many people will be understandably nervous on their first occassion. Our advice is to just have a laugh, make small talk and only gradually introduce talk about swinging. Also be 100% honest with how you feel and what you'd like to do. It is best to get this stuff out of the way early in the evening.
- Don't get too drunk - It oils the wheels of the conversation and may give you the dutch courage to swing for the first time, but there is an obvious performance related reason why most swingers aren't heavy drinkers.
- Take a time-out - Take a time-out before heading back to either of your places just to check that everyone is 100% cool and up for it. Now is a good time for a strategic exit stage left if the other couple aren't what you thought they might be or there is attraction for only one of you.
- Go with the flow and enjoy yourselves - You're fully prepared, you all fancy each other and you're heading back to their place. A good way to break the ice is to play with your own partner first to warm things up as it is easy to sit there making polite conversation and not knowing how to say "lets get naked". The best evenings happen when you have no particular expectations and just go with the flow. That way, everything is a bonus!